In a shocking twist, a woman learned of her fiancé’s infidelity with her sister. Years later, as she prepared for her wedding, her sister unexpectedly insisted on being a bridesmaid, leaving her utterly taken aback. Faced with this bewildering situation and apparent family support for her sister, she turned to an advice columnist.
In June 2022, during Slate.com’s Weekly Live Chat, a woman shared a deeply personal story that sent shockwaves through her life. She faced a heart-wrenching decision—calling off her first engagement due to a betrayal that had shaken her to the core.This tumultuous saga unfolded when she uncovered the painful truth: her 19-year-old sister had been in a secret relationship with her fiancé. She and her fiancé had recently graduated from college, their future together seemingly bright. However, the revelation was a devastating blow.
Confronting her sister about the affair revealed a shocking façade. Her sister portrayed herself as an innocent victim, claiming she had been “seduced.” Yet the reality was far more troubling.
As the wedding date approached, the woman faced a new dilemma.
A trove of text messages provided by her sister’s friends told a different story. These messages spanned several years and painted a disturbing picture of her sister’s vindictive intentions. They revealed her relentless attacks on the woman’s appearance and her calculated efforts to steal her fiancé. To make matters worse, her sister eagerly anticipated her fiancé’s visits, bragging about dressing provocatively.
With her world turned upside down and trust shattered, the woman was caught in an unimaginable family crisis. Seeking guidance and a path forward, she turned to the “Dear Prudence” advice columnist.
Many years had passed since the painful revelation of her sister’s betrayal, a chapter in her life that had put permanent estrangement between them and strained her relationship with her parents. The woman had come a long way in her life and stood on the brink of a new beginning, engaged to a wonderful man who cherished her deeply.
As a gesture of goodwill, she had invited her sister to her upcoming wedding but decided not to include her in the bridal party. Little did she know that this decision would ignite a fiery storm.The woman’s sister was taken aback and deeply offended by her exclusion, demanding to be a bridesmaid. In a phone call filled with tension, her sister expressed her belief, telling her it was time to act like adults and let bygones be bygones. She argued that, as her only sister, she deserved a place among the bridesmaids.
The woman’s response was a mix of frustration and disbelief. She couldn’t help but question her sister’s audacity, especially given the devastation the latter had caused during her first engagement. She even half-jokingly quipped whether her sister had suffered a head injury to forget her past actions.
In response, her sister grew angry and launched into a defense, playing the card of being just a “kid” back then. Exasperated, she drew a line, telling her sister that attending as a guest was the extent of the invitation. Yet, the drama didn’t end there.
Her sister ran to their parents and extended family, seeking support for her cause. Unfortunately, their parents were the only ones who sided with her sister, creating a deeper divide within the family.
As the wedding date approached, the woman faced a new dilemma. She was pregnant, a secret she had only shared with her fiancé. She grappled with whether to inform her parents, who remained firmly on her sister’s side.A part of her hoped they wouldn’t attend the wedding, seeing it as a clear sign of their loyalty. However, another part longed for their presence on her special day. The ties that bound her family were undeniably strained, and the impending wedding held the potential to either mend or further fracture them.
“I’m glad that you’re sticking to your convictions and that you have some family support, as well as the support of your fiancé,” said Prudie at “Dear Prudence.” They acknowledged the woman’s determination to uphold her choices. Moreover, they emphasized that it was entirely within her right to decide whom to invite to her wedding, including her sister, and whether or not to include her in the bridal party.
Prudie expressed bewilderment at the woman’s parents’ inability to recognize the harm caused by her sister’s actions and their unwillingness to acknowledge the validity of her feelings. They highlighted the importance of her sister taking responsibility for the damage done to their relationship, which she seemed unwilling to do.Regarding a potential solution, Prudie suggested a heartfelt conversation with her parents about the harm inflicted and the need for boundaries. While they hoped her parents would choose her side, they also acknowledged that they might not.
Prudie told the woman to weigh the pros and cons of having her parents at the wedding despite their reservations about her sister, considering her own peace of mind on the big day. They advised against using her pregnancy news as a bargaining chip, viewing it as a last resort.