Utah mother Sam Kelly has made headlines for her unconventional approach to parenting and household chores. Sam, a former therapist turned feminist coach for moms, is challenging traditional gender roles and redefining the way she communicates with her children when it comes to managing their home. In a recent interview with Good Morning America, the 38-year-old mother of three, Hero (11), Goldie (9), and Shepard (6), shared her unique perspective on parenting and why she no longer asks her children to “help” with chores.
Sam’s journey towards this approach began when she realized she was repeating the same pattern with her children that she had been trying to address with her husband, Chas Kelly. While Chas had always been a supportive partner, Sam felt burdened by the invisible labor associated with managing their household. Approximately 18 months ago, Sam and Chas had a series of conversations about rebalancing their responsibilities at home, which prompted Sam to reflect on her parenting style as well.
One evening, while preparing a chore chart for her kids, Sam had an epiphany. She realized that she was inadvertently perpetuating the patriarchal expectations placed on mothers by asking her children to “help” with housework. She decided to change her approach and started using different language to convey her message.
In a post on her Instagram account, where she has nearly 60,000 followers, Sam explained her new approach. She no longer uses the word “help” when referring to the work of managing a home. Instead, she uses the word “work” to emphasize that taking care of the home is a shared responsibility among all family members. She believes that using the word “work” helps children understand that managing a home involves actual work, and it’s not solely their mother’s responsibility.
Sam’s Instagram post has garnered significant attention and support, with more than 66,000 likes and nearly 2,000 comments. She firmly believes that changing the language around household chores can have a positive impact on children’s perceptions of work and their roles within the family.
Furthermore, Sam has introduced a system she calls “notice and do,” which encourages her children to be proactive in identifying tasks that need to be done around the house. Instead of assigning specific chores, she asks them to look around and choose one thing to notice and do. This system aims to teach children to take initiative and contribute to the overall well-being of the household.
While Sam’s approach has received praise for challenging traditional gender roles and promoting shared responsibility, it has also sparked some debate. Some argue that it is the parents’ responsibility to manage and oversee the home, while others believe that involving children in household chores can empower them and teach valuable life skills.
In the end, Sam Kelly’s parenting philosophy serves as a reminder that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Every family is unique, and the key is to find what works best for your family dynamics and values. Sam’s journey towards redefining her parenting approach highlights the importance of open communication and a willingness to adapt and evolve as parents.
In conclusion, Sam Kelly’s decision to stop asking her children to “help” with chores and instead encourage them to “work” with her represents a fresh perspective on parenting and household responsibilities. By changing the language around chores and teaching her children the value of shared work, she is challenging traditional gender roles and promoting a more equitable division of labor within her family. While her approach has garnered both support and criticism, it underscores the importance of thoughtful and intentional parenting in today’s evolving society.