The world’s richest man has just been dealt a stunning blow as he looks set to finally leave Washington with his tail between his legs.Happiness. Love. Style. There are plenty of things money can’t buy – even ungodly, vast mountains of the lovely greenback-y stuff.
Just ask the billionaire who recently nearly cried on camera, is single and generally dresses like he’s off to an OnlyFans Anonymous meeting.
Now we’ve just learnt that there is another thing Elon Musk’s more than $476 billion can’t buy him: An election. (That, and any T-shirts that don’t give tech bro-Ed Hardy, fighting-for-weekend-visitation-rights vibes).
The last 24 hours have capped off what has been the most stunning downfall and reversal in fortune in American political history, the same country that produced Richard Nixon.
Mr Musk has just been dealt a brutal slapdown by Americans, who went to the polls in a state election that had become a referendum about the Tesla boss’ unchecked, unelected catapulting into Washington power.
Despite the father-of-14 (words you never have to type about anyone else who does not also own a horse and buggy) having dumped an eye-watering $39 million into trying to get a MAGA loyalist elected to the Wisconsin Supreme Court, including literally handing out $1.57 million ($US1 million) in cheques, he lost spectacularly.
America has spoken and the people, along with Donald Trump now too, seem to want nothing more to do with Mr Musk.
What happened is this: This week saw a series of state elections, the first real litmus test of public feeling towards Mr Musk, Mr Trump’s so-called First Buddy, which sounds like a terrible late 90s movie starring the Olsen twins and a wisecracking french bulldog.
The results, especially in Wisconsin, have been a ringing blow for Mr Musk and his Trump-sanctioned assault on government – and they reflect the very clear surge of public anger towards fatherhood’s worst advertisement.
Let’s be clear here – Mr Musk quite literally tried to buy the Wisconsin election that saw Democrat-leaning Susan Crawford going up against ‘Trump4eva’-underpants-wearing Brad Schimel.
In February, Mr Musk began dumping money into Mr Schimel’s campaign coffers like a faulty backhoe, only to then go a shocking step further in a move that may or may not be legal.
He actually got his chequebook out, paying Wisconsinites $US100 ($157) to sign a MAGA-linked petition, which then put them in the running to win $US1 million.
The election in question might have been for a judgeship in a cheese belt state where they measure their GDP in gouda, but no one has been pretending it was anything but a vote on Mr Musk.
The unleashing of his Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) winged boy-monkeys on the government during the first months of Trump 2.0 brought a whole new level of cruelty and fear into American life.
(Heard the one about the Maryland father who was deported to an El Salvadoran prison thanks to an administrative error and now they won’t bring him back?)