Navigating parenthood is difficult.
Everyone has their own guidelines, traditions, and rules – but there’s no perfect way to raise children.
The mother explains her side
The 37-year-old woman took to Reddit‘s ‘Am I The A*****e‘ thread to explain a recent situation that occurred with her young daughter.
“My daughter is very small for her age and as a result gets treated like a younger child sometimes,” the woman began in her post.
“She loves to hop in my or my [husband‘s] lap and cuddle with us on the couch or in a chair,” she continued, adding that she had started thinking that perhaps her daughter was getting “too old” for that type of cuddling and that maybe she was even hurting her daughter by letting her continue doing so.The day before the woman wrote her post, the 11-year-old daughter tried to get onto her mother‘s lap and cuddle. “I told her she was too old for that and to get off me,” the woman said. “She got really upset, got off me and went to her room and slammed the door.”
Now, the young girl was not tried to cuddle with her mother, and apparently there was some tension at home following the incident. “She doesn’t talk to me unless she has to and when I hugged her goodnight last night she didn’t hug me back,” the woman explained.
“I feel really guilty because I obviously hurt her feelings but I feel like she might be too old for sitting on my lap,” she added, asking fellow Redditors whether she was the a*****e in the situation.
What did the internet say?
Unfortunately, the woman was deemed “the a*****e” in the situation, with many people taking to the comments to blast her for throwing away valuable bonding time with her daughter. Essentially, her story was not received well at all!
“She’s not going to want to cuddle you much longer. You may have a year left. And you’re throwing that time away instead of cherishing it,” one person said.
Another added: “There’s nothing wrong with directing a child towards more age-appropriate behaviors or expressing that something is no longer comfortable for you. That’s part of helping a child grow up. But you do need to redirect them to a behavior that is appropriate (because they need to be taught, they don’t automatically know) and reinforce that while your relationship with them is changing, your love for them is consistent.
“If you told her to ‘Get off’ with no warning, it’s no wonder why she perceived that as rejection and is now completely confused as to what sort of physical affection is ok or will get her snapped at,” they continued.
A further comment read: “I work at a nursing home. We have a 78-year-old man who comes to visit his 99-year-old mother every week. She has dementia and they hold each other and they both light up. You never outgrow the need for love and affection from your parents.”
What would you have done if you were the mother in this situation? Do you have any advice for her? Let us know in the comments!