A woman took it to Reddit after she decided to cancel the family Thanksgiving dinner she had hosted for the past twenty years. She made the difficult decision because of her brother’s wife.
Part of her family thought she did the wrong thing by canceling the dinner, while others supported her decision. She posted her story on Reddit to see what strangers on the internet thought about her decision.The 40-year-old woman’s Thanksgiving dinner invitation was to her mother, children, and siblings along with their spouses to her place. When her brother was invited, his wife responded with a message that led her to cancel the event.
What Went Wrong to Cause the Cancelation?
The original poster (OP) shared how she’d met her brother’s wife, Julie, five years ago. Since then, over the years her sister-in-law always created problems over the annual Thanksgiving dinner with the Reddit user explaining:
“Julie is very big into fad diets (Atkins, keto, South Beach) and every year she sends me a list of foods that she cannot eat and a list of things that she can.”
For the previous year’s festivities, Julie sent a list to OP, who ensured the preparation of her sister-in-law’s special meals according to the woman’s new diet plan. Despite her efforts, the annual family dinner still got ruined.OP revealed what happened that year, sharing how Julie became upset at the dinner table because her husband didn’t want to eat ketogenic diet food. The Reddit user shared how they fought at the Thanksgiving table and ruined the night.When OP invited her family to the Thanksgiving dinner she was hosting this year, Julie informed her that she was following a special fertility diet since she was trying for a baby through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). Annoyed, OP texted Julie that she was only making one dish that year and wouldn’t be able to cater to her request. OP explained what she told her saying:
“I texted her back and told her that this year I was making one meal and one meal only and she could either eat what was being served or bring her own food.”
After reading OP’s message, Julie got offended and replied by saying her husband’s sister was acting selfishly for not considering her request. She also complained about OP to her husband that night.The following day, OP’s brother berated her over the phone for ruining the Thanksgiving dinner. He also reminded her of when Julie catered to her food allergies while hosting a BBQ party earlier that year.
In her defense, OP said that her food allergies were life-threatening, and Julie’s diet was her own choice that changed every year. She told him he couldn’t compare the two things. OP’s brother then called their mother, who told him that everyone in the family found it difficult to keep up with Julie’s dietary needs, so she should bring her diet food to family dinners.
When OP discussed the issue with her husband, he suggested she cancel the dinner, and she agreed. She sent a message to everyone that the Thanksgiving dinner was canceled, saying:
“I am serving (Thanksgiving menu). If they want to come over and eat with us, they are welcome to do so.”
After reading OP’s message, her sister, husband, and son supported her decision while her mother believed she shouldn’t have canceled the dinner. She posted her story on Reddit to ask other people for advice.
How Did Reddit Users React to OP’s Story?
A Reddit user named IridescentAxlotl replied to the post saying they’d also made a dietary choice like Julie but never expected other people to cook separate meals. The person said they chose not to burden others because they understood how annoying it could be and explained:
“I do appreciate it when (especially during Thanksgiving) there’s one or two things I can eat.”The reader added that Julie’s behavior was unacceptable and that OP wasn’t at fault. Another user named thin_white_dutchess confessed to being vegetarian and ended up shifting to a vegan diet because of the person they lived with.
AITA for canceling Thanksgiving?
byu/throw_away96351420 inAmItheAsshole
People following a vegetarian diet don’t eat animal meat, but they consume animal by-products such as eggs, milk, and honey. On the other hand, vegans avoid the derivatives as well as following a stricter diet.
AITA for kicking my sister out on thanksgiving?
byu/Zealousideal_Soft_27 inAmItheAsshole
Since the Redditor switched to a vegan diet, she started saving money. However, her vegan coworkers always had a problem when she cooked non-vegan food for her family members at dinners, with them hilariously sharing:
“The pot roast I made for my dad had nothing to do with you Sally from HR- I didn’t bring you leftovers.”
Someone else felt people who made “lifestyle choices” were responsible for them and the person hosting them didn’t have to be accommodating. The person also thought comparing lifestyle choices to “deathly allergies” is stupid.
AITA for canceling Thanksgiving?
byu/throw_away96351420 inAmItheAsshole
Another Redditor noted how the OP hadn’t “really” canceled Thanksgiving dinner but was having it with everyone invited as long as they accepted her menu or brought their own food. A person who used the platform revealed how they were “less demanding” than Julie even when they were vegan.
They felt Julie’s demand for the whole recipe to be changed for herself or entire meals being made for her was “difficult and unreasonable.” Someone who’s been a vegetarian for 20 years said they never experienced problems over Thanksgiving as they ate a plate of sides.
AITA for canceling Thanksgiving?
byu/throw_away96351420 inAmItheAsshole
If something new was made, they’d ask if it was vegetarian-friendly, and if not, they let it pass without any complaints. They appreciated it when family members made something new that they could eat but never had expectations.
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Another Redditor thought it was “rude” for Julie to expect a whole meal plan to be made for her as a guest. Seeing how the sister-in-law never brought dishes she could eat or help with making them was seen as “appalling behavior,” adding:
“Julie sounds like a real piece of work and a bad houseguest.”
Someone else saw OP’s response as an open invitation and not a cancelation, with the only cancelation being the cooking of a “separate meal for Thanksgiving.” The person thought OP’s mother could host her own Thanksgiving, come cook for Julie, or ask her daughter-in-law to host the event to accommodate her dietary needs.