A woman longed to embrace motherhood since her mid-30s. Sadly, her circumstances weren’t favorable then, and she didn’t become a mom until her late 50s. Prepared to shower her baby with love and care, she was surprised when critics slammed her for her choice.
Carolyne Ness, who grew up in Fife, Scotland, was utterly oblivious to the direction her life would take in the future. Yet, when the time came to stand her ground and decide, she left no stone unturned to accomplish her heartfelt dream.
When she was in her teens, she thought she would start a family in her 20s. Due to her strong maternal instincts, Carolyne hoped she would cradle a little angel in her arms someday. Unfortunately, that day took longer than she had expected!
The Heartbreaking Diagnosis
For almost three decades, Carolyne suffered fertility issues, which became a massive roadblock in her journey to motherhood. At 40, she was devastated when the doctors told her she had unexplained infertility. It was an enormous setback that shattered her to the core.Friends told her she would be too exhausted and might miss her freedom after embracing motherhood later in life.
Her Heartfelt Longing
Drenched in agony and despair, Carolyne made the difficult decision of moving to Sydney, Australia, hoping to start a new chapter of her life. She met new people and made good friends, but nothing helped soothe her longing for a child.On the contrary, she felt miserable whenever she saw her female friends holding their kids and playing with them. Heartbroken and clueless about how to fill the void in her life, Carolyne began weighing her options.
Initially, she considered adoption but dropped the idea when she learned she might have to wait many years for a younger kid. Then she started to explore other ways of making her dream come true to no avail.
A Life Full of Struggles
Carolyne never thought she would be at a point where everything she wanted would seem too far-fetched. Life had never been easy for her, but she faced even more challenges as time passed.Although she yearned to become a mom from a young age, she didn’t meet her husband until she was 30. Unfortunately, things went awry for the couple, and their relationship didn’t last much longer.
After their divorce was finalized, Carolyn found herself single, childless, and miserable. While she continued to date other men, she never found the right person she would want to start a family with.
Facing Roadblocks
Despite moving to Australia in hopes of a better life, Carolyne’s pain and longing was only aggravated. She had reached her 50s, but the gaping hole in her heart continued to hurt. Desperate to make it happen, she started looking into fertility treatments.
Carolyne discovered she couldn’t undergo fertility procedures in Australia because she was past 52, the average age of natural menopause. In the UK, she wasn’t eligible for a fertility cycle, as she was in her late 50s at the time.
A Life-Changing Journey
Divorced, distressed, and disillusioned, Carolyne failed to see a way out of her misery. Eventually, she did a little research, and following a friend’s suggestion, she embarked on a 6,000-mile journey to New Delhi, India.
There, she sought medical assistance when she was a little shy of her 58th birthday. Meanwhile, she decided not to get her hopes up and considered the trip a vacation, exploring India as much as possible.
Carolyne visited the Taj Mahal and the Golden Trainage and explored the cities of Agra and Jaipur. Then she returned to Australia, leaving everything to fate, and was pleasantly surprised when she received the good news.
Welcoming Her Son
After taking at-home pregnancy tests and a blood test, Carolyne was thrilled when they all showed positive results. She was finally pregnant—after years of longing for a child.
In November 2017, the Australian resident had a planned cesarean delivery at 37 weeks, given her baby’s slowed growth and her age. After many years of struggles, detours, and disappointments, Carolyne became a mom to a baby boy at 58.
Responding to Her Friends
She named her son Javed and vowed to love, cherish, and protect him to the best of her abilities. Sadly, not everyone reciprocated her sentiments. Friends told her she would be too exhausted and might miss her freedom after embracing motherhood later in life. Carolyne added:
“But [my friends] were all mothers already. They had no idea how much I wanted to give up my freedom to love a child like they had.”
Loved beyond Measure
The decision to have Javed wasn’t easy for Carolyne. She was nearing her 60s then and had never envisioned having a baby at such a mature age. “I never wanted to be a single mother, that was like my worst nightmare,” she shared.
But Carolyne was willing to try whatever it took to fill that gap in her life because she didn’t want to harbor regrets. In an interview with “This Morning” in 2018, the first-time mom shed light on her unconventional motherhood journey. She expressed:
“Even though I’m an older mother, I’m coping really well. [Javed is] very much loved and very much wanted.”
Planning for Her Son’s Future
When asked who would care for her son if anything happened to her, Carolyne said she was positive she had a couple of years in front of her. She described how her dad was in his 90s and going strong, and her mom died in her mid-80s shortly before Javed’s birth.
The Aussie resident explained that her sister, who was five years her junior, and her best friend, who was her birthing partner and ten years younger than her, were both willing to take in Javed if the circumstances called for it.
As of March 2023, Carolyne is 64 and on the school run with her five-year-old son. Despite being as old as some of his friends’ grandmothers, she said her son never noticed their age difference. However, the schoolboy reportedly pesters his mom to get him a dad.
Carolyne was able to have Javed thanks to embryo adoption, an IVF procedure for which she paid £4500 ($5429) approximately, in India. She was said to have chosen a 21-year-old Indian woman and a 6-foot American Caucasian man as donors.
Despite the criticism, Carolyne considers herself fortunate and happy and isn’t ashamed of her decision. We hope this mother-son duo celebrates many healthy, joyous, and prosperous years together!